


the great outdoors

by ruche



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, vaguely funny perhaps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:21:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22009921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruche/pseuds/ruche
Summary: Without the matter of Dimitri constantly breaking his bows, both aggravating and hilarious, they could really focus on the prize. As usual, they worked together scarily well. Dimitri was so calm, so concentrated, silent, lethal, his beast instincts arising again beneath his very practical muscles--And Felix had miles of privacy to enjoy this.Or: Felix and Dimitri cavort about the woods with all-natural consequences.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 8
Kudos: 154





	the great outdoors

**Author's Note:**

> this is just an extended shitpost. suspend your disbelief.

As men, Felix’s first gift to Dimitri was a custom-commissioned bow of reinforced silver, so that they could go hunting like they did as boys. He had not at all overseen the making-- practically tossed money at the smith and fletcher, then hastened to leave. He did not even give it directly to Dimitri when it was finished. He’d left the case in Dimitri’s office with a note. _After next week’s meeting with Gloucester? -- F_

Dimitri was much better with this custom bow. Perhaps due to his sentimentality, or his fondness for intricate design, he was more careful not to break it. That day, his arrow had gored a wild boar. He had smiled at Felix so brilliantly it must have jostled something inside of him loose. His good sense, probably.

Hunting was relaxing. And it was occasionally relaxing to spend time with Dimitri, quietly, or in all sorts of rewarding physical activity--

After those first few golden bouts in the de facto king’s forest, hunting with Dimitri was not so relaxing. Not good, even. It defeated the purpose of hunting, which was to be productive. 

The problem was thus: without the matter of Dimitri constantly breaking his bows, both aggravating and hilarious, they could really focus on the prize. As usual, they worked together scarily well. Dimitri was so calm, so concentrated, silent, lethal, his beast instincts arising again beneath his very practical muscles--

And Felix had miles of privacy to enjoy this. 

Which is why Felix’s back is presently scraping up against the bark of a tree while Dimitri kisses open-mouthed at his neck. Dimitri shoves against him particularly rough; Felix groans, and all of the birds vacate the area. Damn it, they’re _hopeless._

He is truly thinking that-- as much as he is capable of thinking at the moment-- when he pulls Dimitri’s hips closer to him, when Dimitri begins to very agreeably slot a thigh against his cock, when Dimitri starts pulling at his breeches, groping his legs--

“Don’t _rip_ it,” Felix hisses, and Dimitri nips the skin of his throat.

“Don’t move so much,” he says, not unkindly, though it sure seems so when Felix wants nothing more than to rut against this oaf of a man until they’re both touch-sated and warm to the bone. Much needed, when the autumn winds are blowing around them, chilling the tips of Felix’s ears.

Still, Felix obediently stops bucking and squirming, choosing instead to knock his head back against the tree, eyes closed. It bares his throat more, and so be it, because he wears turtlenecks regularly and enjoys Dimitri’s attention; he can admit it, he likes the boar insatiable, sometimes. _Reluctantly._

Goddess, they should be hunting pheasants. 

One of Dimitri’s hands soothes over his waist to his hip, as if praising. The other hand slips down past a hem, cupping at his bare ass, and Felix groans in frustration, this time. Dimitri laughs under his breath. Kisses Felix’s lips, which he has to oblige. 

“Relax, if you would,” Dimitri says, murmuring against his skin. In retaliation, Felix reaches down to squeeze the bulge in his pants.

“ _Relax,_ ” he repeats, breathy, at a fever pitch, through the sound of Dimitri’s answering moan, low and raspy. He begins to rock his hips into Felix. Felix leg-locks him, freely held and crushed against this towering pine, and the friction--

“ _Fffuck,_ ” Felix sighs. His head lolls contentedly to the side, bleary-eyed. “ _Dimitri,_ that’s--ah. Wait-- _hah_ \-- wait, stop. _Stop._ Bear.”

“Hm?” Dimitri hums dreamily against his skin. Still dryhumping him. Felix smacks his heaving shoulder.

“Not _boar,_ you idiot,” he snaps. “ _Bear._ Look _slowly._ ”

Still hunched over a bit, Dimitri does turn his head in the same direction Felix is looking. Sure enough, not ten yards away, there’s the so-called lord of the woods, a quite sizable north bear. Its massive body is shrouded somewhat by the undergrowth, but its pitch-black head is raised, animal interest piqued. Dimitri’s hands remain on Felix’s waist and ass, unmoving. Utterly useless.

“What’s a north bear doing in these parts?” Felix asks under his breath, infuriated. They’re notoriously thick-skinned, fast, aggressive, and difficult to hunt; Felix would ponder how he didn’t see the unmistakable tracks if the answer to that question wasn’t presently crushing him against a tree. “Nevermind. Let go of me so I can cast Thoron.”

Dimitri looks at Felix, their faces inches apart, though Felix is really just squinting expectantly at the furrow to his brow. If anything, the king’s big damn paws fasten their hold. Then: "What if you miss?"

Unbelievable. Felix unhooks his leg from Dimitri’s hip. Dimitri doesn’t move, however, so it’s not much use. "I won't _miss--_ " 

“It’s dry season, Felix,” Dimitri murmurs, curiously preoccupied. Felix looks at the underbrush, and has to admit he has a point.

“ _Then what do you suggest,_ ” Felix challenges. They’ve faced literal monsters before; calm is really the only reaction he can have. That unfortunately does not mean he is ready. They must have been noticed, so the beast is judging whether they are a threat, perhaps too close to the den. The problem is that, should the beast decide they are, it will charge at a speed that requires exacting precision, and-- they are not equipped nor positioned to react. 

Dimitri shifts his head only slightly. He is careful to speak quietly, but then, that is just the natural timbre of his voice. “Perhaps it’s just curious….”

They hear the bear shifting around to the side. It’s sniffing the air. Felix squeezes his eyes shut, far more irritated than scared. Nevermind all the childhood tales he’s heard of arrogant hunters falling prey to those sharp, mammoth claws. His _cock_ is--

“--I do agree it’d be better to strike first, if possible.” 

“Great.” Felix breathes out. The calculation in his head takes less than a second. “Your aim’s shit.”

Dimitri looks rather like he wants to laugh under his breath. Felix varies constantly as to whether he hates or adores that expression, often turned so fondly in his direction. “True,” he allows, a near whisper, knowing very well that archery works on a north bear about as well as lectures work on Sylvain. And while Dimitri’s extraordinary strength may carry, his skill is lacking. 

_Why_ does Felix even take him hunting. 

“This would not be so troublesome had I thought to bring a javelin,” Dimitri is saying calmly, as if this was the only poor decision at play here. He slowly begins to let Felix down, the two of them tense as his feet crack the leaves and twigs below. A very slight sound-- and no sign or sound of movement from the bear in response, though Felix holds his breath.

“Perhaps if I could borrow your sword…?” Dimitri continues-- this image is _vivid_ , and there goes the caution of holding his breath. Like always, Dimitri’s unfortunate handling of weapons is both comical and--

“What? _No_ ,” Felix hisses. Dimitri looks dejected. 

“I did not necessarily mean I’d throw it--”

“ _No_ ,” Felix repeats, with even more force. Dimitri is a fine swordsman but if he *does* break the blade, or even miscalculate his target, he’ll be left wide open, and it only takes a second for this particular beast to rip human flesh asunder. 

Said beast begins to move from its spot. Perhaps it has lost interest after all, so they need only wait in careful silence and then get the hell out of dodge. Felix tries to communicate this with his eyes, but Dimitri’s thick head is turned so he can have the most optimal eyeful.

“It's an impressive creature,” he says. “Have you seen one up close before?”

Felix doesn’t see the need to reply. Dimitri bumbles on, still pressing a good deal of his weight on him. 

“That thick fur is highly prized,” he remarks. Off in his own little world that Felix wants no part of. 

“Why are you making _conversation_ right now?” Felix demands, speaking from the corner of his mouth. Dimitri inclines his head at him, unabashed and thoughtful.

“It will be a cold winter this year-- bear hide would make a fine gift…”

“What.”

“I really do wish I’d brought a lance…”

“Shut up.” Felix scowls. He’d thought hunting with a lance brought back unsavory memories for Dimitri. At the very least it was unfashionable. Dimitri seemed on track to a questionable decision, regardless. “Don’t move,” Felix orders.

“You don’t have to be so concerned,” Dimitri replies, shifting his weight. Felix glares and tries not to release a peep as Dimitri’s hips bump his own, _sensitively_. “I do not think it’s as dangerous as you--”

“ _Dimitri,_ ” Felix seethes, in his best _you cannot be serious_ voice. 

“-- think it is.” A smile. Dimitri finally puts some space between their chests, and groins, and legs. Felix misses the warmth. The bear, previously distracted, seems to be poking its beastly head in their direction again, as if it can catch the scent of Dimitri’s stupid animal idea on the wind.

“Who do you think _you_ are?” Felix grits, because Dimitri is truly considering an impromptu bear hunt with as much levity as if he’s simply strolling to the market. Sure, they’ve killed colossal beasts, but with teamwork, intel, and proper equipment. “So eager to fight other animals for dominance? You might as well just piss on the--” 

“Felix,” Dimitri says, not chiding nor laughing. Felix does not finish his thought, but he does grasp Dimitri’s cloak with a most sour, glum expression. The bear is coming closer.

“Enough of this,” Dimitri murmurs kindly, “It’s not leaving. I will likely have to fight it anyway.”

“No,” says Felix. 

“I really think yes.”

“ _Dimitri,_ ” Felix presses, with the intent to explain he’d at the very least like to hear a fucking plan if Dimitri would care to stop being so snotty, but his voice is promptly drowned out by--

“-- The beast let out a mighty roar,” Ashe says, and demonstrates so with his unsuitably sweet voice, hands up and curved like claws for all the spellbound eyes. “ _Grraaah!_ But it was already too late! It staggered back on its hind legs, then crashed onto the forest floor, defeated. And that’s how His Majesty felled a massive bear with his hands alone.” 

He tells the story much better than Dimitri does.

Felix shakes his head from where he stands, leaned against the brick wall by the hearth with his arms crossed.

“That’s not how it happened.”

Ashe laughs, sheepish and bright, back to his regular tone already. “It’s close enough though, right?”

“Close enough,” Felix allows, turning his eyes at the gaggle of children seated around Ashe’s feet. The bearskin rug is large enough to seat around ten of them, each one as enamored with Ashe’s storytelling as ever. Felix can’t really blame them. “But you still shouldn’t be telling kids-- ugh. None of you go thinking that’s the right way to kill a north bear.”

“Of course!” one of the older girls pipes up. “Only the king has that kind of strength.”

“Then what is the right way?” a boy asks, refusing to drop his snotty gaze. Ashe also looks at him expectantly. Felix turns his nose up. 

“Don’t you have books for this kind of thing?”

“I can’t read yet, Lord Fraldarius.”

“Then stop skipping class.”

Ashe smiles, ducking down to pet a brunette head of hair. “We’re working on it. Come on, Felix, why don’t you tell them your thoughts?”

“Well.” Felix grimaces. He refuses to meet the twenty-two beady eyes boring into him with undivided attention, and gestures a hand vaguely in the air. “It’s all about good judgment. If it’s just curious, you should stay very still. It might lose interest and leave. If there’s a need to kill it, don’t use your bow-- as soon as you draw, it’ll start charging. Even an experienced archer as focused as Ashe would have a hard time managing the precision and power to--”

“Ahaha…” Ashe rubs the back of his neck, beaming. 

“--I’m not flattering you,” Felix grunts. “It’s just the truth.”

“Well, then what?” Ashe asks. He can act like he’s badgering for the orphans’ sake all he wants; Felix knows he’s just as eager to hear him speak as any of them. Sighing, Felix comes off the wall, turns bodily to his audience with a hand on his hip. 

“Then you use magic very precisely. Or you’d better hope one among you is skilled with a sword.” There’s a rapid _sssssshclink!_ as Felix theatrically quick-draws his own blade, holding it out in a stance for the myriad shrills and giggles of these children. He pulls it back before any of them can get any wise ideas. “Notice I said _skilled_ , not _brave_.”

“It’s always a brave knight, not really ever a skilled one,” another child notes. 

Felix points at her. “Exactly.”

“If you follow Felix’s advice to the letter,” says a familiar voice, rich with familiar amusement, “then you’ll definitely all grow up to be skilled and steadfast.”

All heads turn. It’s the same time and time again: a whole herd of children scrambling to their feet to greet the king at the door. Dimitri carefully picks one of the fastest and youngest up, laughing in delight. Felix watches-- meets Dimitri’s gaze and has to look away. He can never fight the small, involuntary smile he gets whenever Dimitri is in his element, a king of the people. They tell legends about him and then he shows up for dinner.

“You’re late,” Felix says.

“Sorry,” Dimitri laughs. “You had to suffer through story time without me?”

Felix snorts. There’s a chorus of children’s voices shrilling and commenting about it-- _Ashe said this, Ashe said that, the bear hide really is warm and soft and_ huge and it must have been _dangerous_. “Oh,” Dimitri says, “Yes, of course. Let’s hope none of you are ever in that situation. Ah-- don’t worry, I was not in any danger myself, Felix was there.”

“Shut _up_ ,” Felix says.

“Humble as always,” Ashe says in appreciative awe, and worse, actually means it. 

“We’ll have to go hunting again come spring.” Dimitri nods at Felix-- it is an eager, genuine suggestion, only for them to both recall at once the _frequency_ with which they go out to hunt and do not hunt. There are other things that predators do in the woods. Dimitri isn’t taking anything back in the short, suggestive silence that follows.

“I have no objections,” Felix says at length, and finally tilts his head away from the door. “Come sit down and eat already, I can already tell you’re starving.”

**Author's Note:**

> ashe and his siblings run a tavern/orphanage in fhirdiad and dedue n flayn are there often and they all have family dinners.s hut up i do what i want


End file.
